Naleteh na ovo, vredi procitati: Chuck Norris can cause a forest fire just using the magical properties of his beard, he can then, if he chooses, extinguish the fire by roundhouse kicking it. Chuck Norris took the Blue Pill and still found out the truth. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick is so powerful, it can be seen from outer space by the naked eye. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death If at first you don't succeed, you're obviously not Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever. A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, „Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!“ The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday. Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas. Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him. As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history. Before he forgot a gift for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was real. Most reported Bigfoot sightings are just Chuck Norris with his shirt off. Loch Ness sightings, on the other hand, are Chuck with his pants off. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Chuck Norris appeared in the „Street Fighter II“ video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this „glitch,“ Norris replied, „That's no glitch.“ Chuck Norris' action figure has slept with more women then most men. Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break Chuck Norris open you would find another Chuck Norris inside, only smaller and angrier. Chuck Norris does not know about this site. Otherwise he would have deleted the internet. A man was once stranded on the side of the road after his car ran out of gas. Chuck Norris drove by, got out, and looked the man in the eye. The man knew that everything would be fine. Then Chuck proceeded to piss into the man's gas tank and to this very day that man has never had to fill his gas tank up again. That was 14 years ago. Bullets dodge Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel and Arnold Schwarzenegger have all died and are in Heaven. Each of them hope to occupy the seat next to God. God asks Vin Diesel why he thinks he should have the seat and Vin replies, „I believe… I should have the seat because of the virtuosity in my toughness and pride.“ Arnie says, „I believe… that I should be the one sitting next to you because of all my achievements.“ God then turns to Chuck Norris, who replies with, „I believe… you are sitting in my seat.“